Monday, April 6, 2009

Unredeemed!!

Unredeemed

(Written by Chad Cates, Tony Wood, Brian Petak)

Produced by Bernie Herms

And had the FIRE sung out of it by Amy Perry and my Toddy.


The cruelest words

The coldest heart

The deepest wounds

The endless dark

The lonely ache

The burning tears

The bitter night

The wasted years

Life breaks and falls apart

But we know these are…

Places

Where grace is

Soon to be so amazing

They may unfulfilled

They may unrestored

But when anything that’s shattered

Is laid before the Lord

Just watch and see

It will not be

Unredeemed

For every choice

That led to shame

And all the love

That never came

For every vow

That someone broke

And every life

That gave up hope

We live in the shadow of the fall

But the cross says these are all – just

Places

Where grace is

Soon to be so amazing

They may unfulfilled

They may unrestored

But when anything that’s shattered

Is laid before the Lord

Just watch and see

It will not be

Unredeemed

They may unfulfilled

Unredeemed by Selah (Coming out in August 09) I love these words!!!!

They may unrestored

You never know the miracles

The father has in store

Just watch and see

It will not be

Unredeemed

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Grace for my journey

Im feeling great today and just praying that God keeps me through this whole 4 year infertility thing. I just want to be grounded emotionally and mentally ya kno?! I want God to be proud of how I handled this part of my life. It's so hard to remain faithful and hopeful though. Im on the up and up though. Im soo exited about my appointment to the reknown RE out of town and am hoping we can get closer to having these babies. I want 4- 6 of them and Im already 26 going on 27 so I need to get it moving. My times are in his hands though. 

Anyways, I loved the verse in 2 Corinthians that says how God's grace is sufficient for us in our weakness. Grace is his ability to keep us mentally and emotionally grounded in touch situations. I asked for his grace the other night and he really has come through for me. I was feeling sooo depressed the other day and after meditating on his word I felt him strengthen me. I know my hubluv was thankful for that because I was being soo snappy. I'm determined to continue to seek God for the strength that I need until this journey of infertility is done though.God is teaching me a lot and I know that Life whether it's infertility of something else tough is always going to present itself (The bible says that it rains on the just and the unjust). 

I dont know about you but I want to handle life graceful and this is teaching me that whatever I face now and after infertility to remember that God has grace (supernatural strength ) for my journey. If you feel like snapping, like throwing in the towel, remember that God has supernatural strength for your journey. Ask for it, and believe that you have recieved it . I encourage you to go to biblegateway.com and type in grace so that you can see what God has to say about his grace towards His kids :)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

My Infertility Journey

Yeah, so this is my 3rd attemped blog lol. I hope to actually us this blog. I am 26 happily married for 3 years and found out officially by the RE last year that I have tubal factor infertility and need IVF. A pretty intense blow. Im a christian and choose to focus the great things I'm learning from this ..talk about patient endurance wheeew...I wont fool you though I don't focus on my focus like I need to but hopefully this blog will encourage me to. I want to look back on this part of my life as a time when I was faithful to God in hope, faith and love. I believe if we keep those three things close we will be pleasing to Him. Anyways I'm off for a second opinion (My RE wants to send me out of town to talk to his mentor to see if surgery should be done to 1. remove my right tube that has a lot of scarring on it and loosen some adhesions present via laparotomy (the big huge c-section cut) or 2. since by vaginal ultrasound my ovaries are accessible for IVF should he leave everything alone and proceed with IVF. So I guess we will see what the md says on Apr. 15th. My RE says my tube is blocked but not dilated with fluid... Im aware that hydrosalpinx can decrease implantation in IVF patients because of the toxic fluid leaking but he says that that is not my case and that the adhesions present would not adversely affect a pregnancy. He also says that my tubes cant be repaired. He did a lap last year in May and said that he could not see the tubes because of the scarring so how does he know they are unrepairable - i dont know. Needless to say Im very excited about seeing what this Mentor- Med school instructor -published everywhere -medically acclaimed RE is going to say about my medical mystery lol Im hopeful though, If IVF presents im ready!! Im definitely wanting to dodge this laparotomy (csection cut with a HOSPITAL STAY YUCK!!!!) If thats what he says I need I'll do that too (ewww)...anyways hubluv is supportive but doesnt really want IVF buuut says we'll c what mentor RE says...Im still praying that God intervenes and I have a baby naturally. Whatever happens I know that barreness is not of God and hold fast (or TRYING to hold fast) to the scripture that says he will make the barren woman a joyful mother of children . Im believing for twins, it'll happen.